Building What I Wish Had Existed: The Collective Referral Network
Not every therapist earns the right to be referred to.
That’s a truth I wish more people in this field would say out loud.
After witnessing unethical supervision, burnout disguised as collaboration, and client harm swept under the rug, I realized I couldn’t keep pretending all providers operate with the same values. I couldn’t keep pretending I didn’t see what I saw - what I lived through. So I built something else. Something that didn’t exist when I needed it. I’m hoping this helps someone one of these days.
I don’t name names here. These are generalized behaviors observed across multiple contexts.
The Collective Referral Network wasn’t just a business decision.
It was a boundary.
It was a reclamation.
It was my way of saying: I know what harm looks like, and I will not pass it on.
This referral list isn’t exhaustive. It’s not some gold-plated directory. But every provider on it is someone I either know personally and professionally as ethical humans or have received repeated positive feedback around. And more importantly, they’re people I’d trust - with my clients, my loved ones, and my own care.
They show up with:
Kind, consistent communication
Strong clinical grounding
A willingness to stay in discomfort and grow
Ethics that aren't just performative
The ability to say, “I was wrong,” and mean it
That last part matters. A lot.
Because here’s the truth: I make mistakes too.
I’m not a perfect clinician and I never want to pretend I am.
I make mistakes. I miss things. I’ve misunderstood clients, gotten something wrong, or made a call that didn’t land well. Every therapist does - whether they admit it or not. We’re all human. Owning that doesn’t make me less ethical - it makes me real.
The difference, and what I commit to, is this: When I realize I’ve misstepped, I don’t disappear. I don’t deflect. I don’t make it the client’s fault. I engage, I reflect, and when appropriate, I repair. Not perfectly. But consistently. And transparently - As best as I can.
There are professionals I’ve worked with, trained under, or observed in the field who will never be part of this network. Not because I believe in perfection.
But because I’ve witnessed the following patterns – repeatedly, and without accountability:
Ghosting supervisees or clients
Blurring boundaries and labeling it “mentorship”
Punishing emotional honesty or autonomy
Avoiding repair when harm is named
Prioritizing optics and control over clinical safety
Enforcing unnecessary abandonment when their authority or ego is challenged
We don’t all have to practice the same way. But if your care causes harm and you refuse to own it? I won’t send anyone your way. Period.
This referral network exists because people deserve better.
Better than shame-based therapy.
Better than supervisors who confuse power with credibility.
Better than systems that reward burnout and blame those who break under it.
If you’ve been hurt by therapy - or by someone in a position of clinical authority - you’re not crazy. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not alone.
And there are providers out there doing this work with humility, skill, and heart.
That’s who’s on this list.
And that’s who I strive to be, too.
The Collective Referral Network wasn’t built to elevate me or this business.
It was built to protect others - from what I’ve seen, what I’ve survived, and what I never want anyone else to silently endure.
It’s an act of harm reduction - and a refusal to stay quiet.
